Author's Notes: For those of you who don't check the category or the tags, this is an incest story. If you hate that sort of thing don't read it.
This is very likely the last of these. It's been fun, but I don't have any more adventures in mind for our heroine now that I've completed the story arc I had in mind. Hope you enjoyed.
EPISODE 8: Can't Blame A Man For Watching. Well, You Could, But...
You head home after getting a confirmation from the police that they're on the way to look for the bodies of Tyrell's victims. You're tired, and not just physically. Once you get back you take a long shower and crawl into bed.
You can't sleep. Your encounter with Tyrell's ghost makes you think about the way your own life has gone. Tyrell thought that gaining special powers would change everything and make his dreams come true. You were never as deluded as that, but when you gained the powers that allowed you to become Cougaress you still made the assumption that becoming a heroine was the right thing for you. Everything changed when you did that, all right. But if anything the dreams you once had about your future only got further away.
You tend not to dwell on this, partly because it's just too depressing. Most of the time you concentrate on the upsides. You never became a veterinarian, but the career you did pursue is exciting, often a lot of fun, and at times quite fulfilling in terms of the positive effect you have on others. There are lots of people who look up to you, in fact you even have fanclubs devoted to you. You're a goddamn superhero, which certainly isn't something most people can say about their day-job.
Your private life, on the other hand? Pretty much totally fucked-up.
You've never met another person who you can think of as your life-partner. Almost all the relationships you've had have been with other heroes, and those always end up being enjoyable but not real love (like with Hellione), or you think it could be love then end up finding out he's not the person you thought he was (like with Paragon, that rat-bastard). After years of doing this you know enough about all the heroes out there that you don't hold on to any hope that one of them is truly meant for you.
Villains on the other hand are just too unstable for you to consider anything long-term with one. Thermo was nice enough, but during the course of your interaction with him he went from wanting to kill you to wanting to go steady with you to deciding to dump you, all in the space of a few hours. And he's one of the saner ones. You don't think there's any chance of finding your soulmate in that crowd.
There's always the option of trying to date normals again, of course. But you'd have to hold back physically all the time, and you feel that romantic love just isn't right without passion. It really seems like you've gotten to the point in your life where you need to admit there's no one out there for you. And there never will be, thanks to the unasked-for gift from Bast you got as a teenager.
After quite a while of tossing and turning while these unhappy notions fill your brain you finally get to sleep. When you wak in the morning your thoughts start down the same disagreeable path, so after your workout and breakfast you get into costume and head out on patrol to try and distract yourself by finding some evil-doers to beat on.
Going to work like this takes your mind off your problems, at least as long as you're out on patrol. When you're home, the way the house is empty with Ryan away makes you feel lonelier than ever. You spend a great deal of time out patrolling over the next few days, but you have to rest sometimes.
One thing you notice while you're out that does bother you is that you no longer seem to have a stalker. You don't get a single hint that the Watchman is tailing you at any point. You casually ask the other heroines about it, but none of them has noticed him around recently either. You feel a little better after you hear this, at least you haven't lost your ardent admirer to a rival.
Not that you're sure he's really an admirer, or that you have rivals for his admiration, or... Okay, you admit it, this must be all in your head. This mystery man follows you around, at one point saves you from a hostile alien (which he might have had any number of reasons to do, including simple humanitarianism), and now you've invented this big romantic infatuation he has for you out of whole cloth. Probably because deep inside you're hoping for exactly this sort of thing to magically happen and rescue you from your lonely life. Even worse, it looks like you're developing a crush on the heroic figure of the Watchman you've created in your own mind.
You shake your head at how pathetic you're being. True, you've had a long, bad run as far as your love life is concerned. Even before Paragon came into the picture you already had the sense that the chance for true romance in your life was fading, that was a big reason why you accepted his proposal. You hoped Paragon would be the one to change that, but now you're sure that your marriage with him was loveless (at least on his side) all along. You spent years with a husband who never truly fulfilled your emotional or physical needs, and once you got pregnant you got even less from the relationship; no sex, no romance, no supportiveness, not even the satisfactions you used to get from the heroine biz. Your only consolation at that point was raising your little boy, then your fucking ex-husband went stole even that from you, taking Ryan away and bringing him back a teenager!
So, yeah, recently you've trying to rebuild your life from the ashes of your failed marriage and not making much headway. Maybe that's the reason you created this fantasy about a man you don't know, who in point of fact has never even spoken out loud to you. But sweet fantasies are not what you need, nor do you need to wallow in self-pity or your regrets over what might have been. You're not dead yet, and you are not about to give up on life until you are.
The hell with thinking about this nonsense! You peer out over the city from your high vantage point and snarl, daring a criminal to show his face. You're Cougaress, damn it. You're a first-class hero, you're a fierce, independent woman, and (according to more than one independent judgement over the past few months) you're still pretty fucking hot for a middle-aged mom. And you know what? You're going to grab the world by the throat and demand that it cough up the life you deserve!
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The next day you go get out of bed and go to the kitchen to find that Ryan is home from his camping trip, sitting at the kitchen table having some cereal. You welcome him back with a hug and see that he's got faint bruises on his face. "Oh, my god! Ryan, what happened?"
He gives you a rueful grin. "We decided to try rock climbing and I lost my grip. Found out once again that my powers don't include flight."
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," you say, gently touching his face. "Does it hurt?"
"Nah, I'm pretty much healed up," he replies. "Looks a lot worse than it is. Good thing it was me who fell and not one of the other guys. They would have broken their faces on the rocks, but for me it was mostly vice versa."
This only makes you more upset. "You got hurt that bad? How high up were you? Shouldn't you have been using a safety line? What if..."
He turns his face down to his cereal bowl. "Stop nagging me about it, Mom. I'm fine, aren't I?"
You sigh. "I can't help worrying about you, Ryan. I love you."
"I know," he says to the cereal. "Sorry, Mom, I didn't want to worry you. I'll be more careful, all right? I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die."
You smile, because it's a thing he would say when he was four. "Thank you, Ryan. I won't nag you about it anymore."
Just then your phone goes off, loud. Both of you look up because it's a red alert.
You grab the phone and look at the message. Belligerous has gone on a rampage. From the location you're the closest hero in the city.