Again, this part is told by Lily.
I had been a legal adult for two months, but still in high school. However, that was about to change. After tonight, I would officially be a full-blown adult. Maybe now Ross would stop seeing me like a little girl in need of protecting. I knew it was one of the reasons he was holding back.
I stood at the edges of the crowd; a sea of caps and gowns swirling around me. Today was graduation day. It felt surreal that four years had passed in what seemed like a heartbeat.
I had waited for this day, dreaming of walking across that stage. Ever since I was thirteen, I couldn't wait to be grown-up, and now I was. My mother had warned me I would regret not slowing down and enjoy being a teenager, but she was wrong. I didn't feel as though I had missed out on anything; I was concentrated only on my future with Ross.
Among the graduates was Mia, my best friend since fifth grade. She resembled a burst of sunshine, with her wild brown curls and unyielding optimism. I glanced towards her, spotting her talking eagerly with her boyfriend Alex, who was bust capturing every moment on his phone like a documentary filmmaker.
I did feel a slight guilt when it came to Mia. I knew everything about her, even her deepest secrets, but she didn't know mine. How could I tell her my family had sex with each other; how I had lost my virginity to my brother? She didn't even know I was an incest baby. Even though she was my best friend, she would never understand and would never accept me dating my brother.
"Hey!" Mia's cheerful voice cut through my thoughts. "Are you ready? Today is our big day!" She grabbed my arm, pulling me away from my family.
Alex shoved his phone camera in my face. "This is Lily Daniels, youngest of seven children," he said.
I laughed and asked, "who do you think is going to watch this who wouldn't know my name?"
"I might put this on youtube."
"No one would watch it," I said in a playful tone.
"So, Lily, tell us. What's next?" Alex asked.
Mia wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "We're going to make our own future, just like we always talked about!" She said.
That was truth, but not exactly the same plans we had made in fifth grade. During countless sleepovers, we had planned out our entire futures. How we'd attend college and be dormmates, then take a trip to Paris where we'd fall in love with our soulmates. We'd have a double wedding and always be pregnant at the same time.
I had used to think my mother was awesome, letting me sleep over at Mia's whenever I wanted. Now I knew those sleepovers had just been opportunities for her to fuck Ty and Sky, and later Andy. Now, it made sense why she always said yes when I asked to sleepover at Mia's.
When it was time, everyone found their seats. My mother and most of my siblings were here, but Sky had stayed home with all the children. Yikes, I would not want to be stuck alone with 15 children, a month after giving birth.
Our names were called one by one, and I watched as students stepped onto the stage with nervous smiles and shaky hands. It wasn't long before my name was called.
I climbed up the stairs leading to the stage and approached the podium. As I shook hands with my principal, the sound of applause filled the room. As I descended on the opposite stairs, I glanced toward my family in the crowd. Their smiles stretched wide, including Ross'. There were tears in my mother's eyes; I was the last of her original seven babies to finish high school. Of course, she still had three littles at home. But in many ways, it still felt like I was the youngest.
After the graduation, my family had a late-night celebration in the backyard. Sky had managed to put all 15 children to bed, so she was outside with us.
"So, what are the summer plans?" Mom asked.
"Well, Ross and I are heading up to the cabin to start on our relationship," I announced.
"Awe, your love story is going to start in the same place as ours," Sky said, taking Ty's hand. He smiled at her.
"Technically ours started in Mom's bedroom," I replied.
In the morning, after Vanessa picked up the kids, the trees flickered past my window. I glanced at Ross who was gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles. Although I couldn't read his thoughts, I could tell he was waging a war in his mind between right and wrong, between his heart and his head. The silence sat heavy in the car; it was almost suffocating.
What do we even have to say to each other that hadn't already been spoken? Ross had always been my biggest protector when it came to our family's secret, more so than I had understand when I was younger. He was the first of the kids to experience the incestuous desires, and the one who fought it the longest.
"Do you want to play some music?" I suggested, breaking the silence.
He didn't look at me. "Sure whatever," he muttered, reaching for the radio.
The sound of a familiar song flooded the car. It was one those songs from the summer us kids had belted out during love drives.
Hours later, as the car rattled over the gravel driveway, I peered out the window, scanning the shadowy outline of the forest surrounding us. Ross glanced at me, a weak and uncertain but genuine smile stretching across his face.
"Once we're out of this car, there's no turning back. Are you sure this is what you want?" Ross asked.
"Yes," I said.
Ross parked the car, and we got out, the cool breeze brushing against my skin. We hadn't been to the cabin in years, life had just been so busy it never seemed like there'd be enough time to enjoy ourselves. I was 11 during my last trip to the cabin, and I thought back on the memories of my trips there, the ones I could remember.
I remembered the laughter that had once echoed through those wooden wall, the smell of pine, and the evenings wrapped up in the warm glow of the fireplace. Now, it felt more like a ghost of the past, a relic of a simpler time.
"I'll grab the bags," Ross said. He moved to the back of the car and wrestled with the suitcases while I approached the porch. The faded swing hung askew; a testament to years of wind and rain.
I stepped onto the creaking wooden planks. As I ventured inside, the sunlight filtered through the grimy windows, illuminating patches of dust that danced in the air.
Ross came in with our luggage. "Nothing's changed," he said, dropping our bags on the floor. He walked toward a stone fireplace covered in ash. "We should get a fire going."
I laughed lightly. "Are you sure that's a good idea. One year you almost set the cabin on fire."
"It was just a little flare-up!" he defended himself.
While Ross rummaged through a kitchen drawer filled with forgotten kitchen gadgets, I wandered through the small cabin. I peeked into the bedroom, smiling at the the old quilts tossed upon the beds.
With a few logs stacked awkwardly in the fireplace, Ross struck a match, and a flame flickered to life. As the fire crackled softly, we settled on the old dusty couch.
"Well, we're here," Ross said.
