To say my brain was in a whirl that week would have been the understatement of the century. I could not quit thinking about having my Mom's breast in my hand. I could not stop thinking about her reaching down to my cock. Jeez! What was I doing? What was she doing? She had to know the effect on me. She had to know what I wanted with her. What were we doing? Where was this going?
I decided that the best course of action was to do nothing. If I stopped my advances, she wouldn't take up the lead, so it would stop there. No harm, no foul. I knew she and Dad had had some rocky moments in their marriage, and I knew that sex between them was a rare thing, indeed. I mean, their bedroom, my sister Sandra's bedroom, and mine were all clustered on the second floor of the house - of course Sandra and I listened for things that go bump in the night. But all that said, Mom and Dad seemed to get along great now. Maybe they lived more like business partners than husband and wife, but at least they got along. I couldn't risk harming the harmony of the family.
But I couldn't let it go. She did, after all, have her hand on my dick. If that's not a signal, then I don't know what is, so I was torn between taking the bitt in my teeth and going for it, and just chalking it up to a hot experience that went nowhere.
My best friend, Colin, noticed something was wrong with me. "What's going on, Stevie Boy?"
"Oh, nothing," I replied as I got up to get more coffee at the Student Union. I thought maybe Colin would drop it.
He didn't. "You've been moping around for weeks," he said, as he stirred sugar in. "Girl problems? That redhead in American History? What? Did she look at you or something?"
Colin was a chick magnet. He was everything I was not, but mostly he was confident, and that came from his many experiences with women. If there was anyone who might be able to give me advice, it was Colin, but of course I would have to couch any questions carefully. I couldn't say, "Colin, should I fuck my Mother?"
So, I put it another way. "Well, there is this woman who's giving me signals, I think. I just don't know where to go with it."
"Ah, ha! I knew it. I can always tell. Who is she? Do I know her? What signals?"
"Uh, yeah. I don't know. Well, she's older, and I've never tried something with a mature woman. I don't know how to do it."
"Older woman?" Colin pursed his lips and blew out. "Man, they're the best. They don't expect a lot from you, and the sex is great. Have an older woman, and you'll never want these college chicks again. How old?"
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe 50?"
"Fifty?" Colin spewed his coffee. "Holy shit. When you go older, you go older. I was thinking maybe 25 or so. What? You making a move on your Mom?" He laughed and then got quiet when he saw how red my face must have looked.
"Oh," he said quietly as he looked around to make sure the tables near us were empty. "Oh."
I stammered, "No, no. Nothing like that. No way."
Colin looked at me. We'd been buds for a long time, even before high school, and he knew me as well as anyone. "Dude," he whispered as he looked down at his coffee. "Dude. It happens. You're thinking you're the only one in the world who's in this situation, right?"
"Uh, huh." Damn. Colin could always get the better of me, and he had just gotten me to admit that I wanted to fuck Mom. Damn.
He was silent for a very long time, and I thought, "Well, there's a friend gone. Who'd want to be friends with a perv who's trying to fuck his Mother?"
Then he spoke quietly. "Maybe you're misreading it. Sure, you want to fuck her. Who wouldn't?" He threw his hands up at my sharp glance. "No, no, Dude. Don't get all worked up. You do know, though, that our Moms were always the choice MILFs in the group? For us, anyway."
I calmed down. I guess my emotions were in high gear.
"So? Are you misreading it?"
"I don't think so. I just don't know, Man. I don't know if I should drop it, or go for it."
Colin got an even more serious look on his face. "I'm going to tell you something, and I'm telling you only because I trust you and because you need to trust me and tell me everything. Right? We clear on that? What I tell you, you can tell no one."
I nodded. I didn't know where this was going, but I sure wanted to hear it.
"OK." He paused. The words "dramatic effect" really meant something to me at that moment, and I leaned in to hear him better. He continued. "You ever wonder why I seem to get so much pussy?"
I laughed. Hell, yes, I wondered that, but figured it was just because he was, well, Colin.
"I get so much pussy because I'm confident. That's all it takes. And you know why I'm so confident?"
I shook my head.
"I'm so confident because I've jumped the highest hurdle. There's nothing I can't do, because I've done what I thought was impossible. I made the impossible, possible."
He let that sink in and it seemed he was waiting for me to say something. "You mean...?"
He grinned. "You're my best friend, and I trust you above all others. You'd better not fuck me over on this. You'd better carry this to your grave. But, yeah."
"Wait," I stammered a little. "You mean you..." I just couldn't say it, so he looked around to check again that no one could hear us.
"Yep," he whispered. "I'm fucking Mom."
I don't think my jaw could have dropped any lower. My brain spun at a thousand miles an hour. I pictured his Mom, Cara. She was the perfect soccer Mom. She brooked no nonsense from any of us, but she was a lot of fun. She and Mom were friends. She was pretty, not beautiful, but damn. Fucking her?
"No way," I said, reaching down to the essence of my eloquence. "No way."
"Yep. Way."
"Good God. I had no idea. Are you just spoofing me? Tell me everything."
"No, I'm not shitting you. The reason you never suspected was because we have rules, and Rule Number One is that no one can ever know."
"But you just told me."
He shook his head. "I know. You can never let on to Mom. Don't ever even hint at it. But you need help, and you're my Bud. You think I wasn't right where you are? I was terrified once I thought it could happen. I don't want you to go through what I did."
I thought back. Yep, Colin had a hard patch about a year ago. He was despondent and nothing I could do would cheer him up. I thought he was having trouble academically. Then, it seemed like overnight he was the old Colin again. I reckoned he must have aced a test or something. "About a year ago?"
"Yep. Exactly. Now tell me, what's going on? Why do you think you have a shot at this?"
I wanted to hear everything about him and Cara, but that could come later. I told him everything. Everything.