I came to Seal Beach, California not knowing what to expect.
"Remember, you're on shore duty now, so take full advantage," I remembered Dan telling me. "One day, you'll look back on all this and regret the time you didn't use wisely, primarily the time you had to smell the flowers, and just relax."
I wasn't understanding Dan (my commanding officer) at first for he came at me within the first few days of me being at the sleepy munitions unit responsible for loading ammunition to naval vessels based on the California coast.
I could recall for five years standing port sentry watches in extreme temperatures, or the countless underways to include three deployments of at least eight months each. I remember the constant drills, or just being on eggshells due to tempo even as a yeoman, an administrator within the U.S. Navy that equates to "human resources" on the civilian side of things. I was based in Norfolk in all that time, where we received four seasons: super cold, super hot, bipolar spring, and bipolar winter, yet I tried to make the best of it all for I went from E1 to E6 in that frame, being on the cusp or earning my bachelors in the process.
"You're the only Sailor here I'll allow to call me 'Dan,' when its just us," he told me, as I was checking in and hanging in the office of not just anyone, but the commanding officer of my unit.
The burly white guy with stubbled chin, slight gut and twinkle, blue eyes stood up at six foot four, with his Bostonian accent and bravado to match. He was a guy that struck fear not just with rank, but with his intimidating demeanor as he never smiled and always looked angry. He claimed he'd heard about me from my last commanding officer, Captain Shunk, a guy he dubbed as "Greg" from a time when they worked worked together as junior officers some 20 years prior.
"Paul, you left an indelible impression on that ship," Dan stated. "Greg spoke extremely highly of you when he gave me the heads up you were coming. I need the same energy here."
Those words boomed off Dan's lips and suddenly I felt the pressure as he set his expectations, then we stood up to shake hands before he signed my check in sheet so I could be on my way.
"Also, while I know of your work ethic, this is shore duty. Take advantage of your time here, shipmate," Dan blurted out as I walked out.
I immediately hit the ground running at the command with positive changes, causing morale boost in an office of 11 when it was once perceived as "dark."
He took notice as a few weeks later he called me into this office to reflect.
"I like the attitude you possess," Dan told me. "There's not a day that customers throughout the command don't compliment your team.
I walked over to his office upon his request, but I was in the midst of a task and voiced being irked about the constant pats on the back.
"Sir, why is it you keep calling me in the office," I playfully asked him once I entered his space.
"Can't I talk to my YN1, and let him know how good of a fucking job he's doing? Shut the door," he said to me as he tinkered with a rubric's cube. "This was a different atmosphere until you came here. Greg Shunk never lied to me, and he's spot on yet again as this place has become night and day with you here."
He rambled on about how it used to be, and where it was with me there after such a short period. I could admit it made me feel good to receive the accolades, and while he talked I realized that for the first time, I could actually focus more on myself for I had a team that wanted to share the load, but I also had the back of the commanding officer as from what Dan was showing at this very moment. After the conversation I took Dan's advice about "time management," and took to searching for schools to attend. I would get enrolled in a bachelors program two months later.
"So you're a hard charger to be here on a Friday evening," Dan said to me, as he came into the office in his summer whites uniform. "6 p.m., and your ass is still here? I should give you a fucking medal, kid, you just don't stop!"
"Sir, I'm just doing homework," I told him.
He'd just returned from attending a commissioning ceremony earlier down in San Diego, about two hours south from my command.
"I rarely wear this uniform," he said speaking on how he hated how dirty it got just walkiing a few feet.
"I wear this uniform proudly when one of my comrades, or mentees, crosses over, whether it be promotion or retirement. You know how many times I've put on this uniform aside from an inspection?"
"Five," I guessed.
"Try that times four, as I know 20 or so people I'm near and dear to that crossed over and are happier because of it. Paul, you keep doing what you're doing and I could see myself putting on this uniform yet again, for you," he said.
He had me stuck when he called my first name so boldly. Paul? Who gave him permission to call me by my first name and break military bearing? I let him continue the pep talk as he amped me up to become an officer, making me feel much better than even his comrade from the ship.
"Your ambition, your smarts, even your good looks, you've got it down pat, Paul," he added as he had me stuck with calling my name like that. "But, with it all, the success is bolstered if you have a woman by your side."
We talked until the sun disappeared, and I wondered on this good Friday why he wasn't at home with his.
"She's home with the kids, but she knows the nature of the job, she's been with me for 19 years," he said. "But it's about me and you as we talk work and life balance. Can't have that if you don't have someone to go home to. What's her name?"
I couldn't answer that for there was no "her," as I preferred "him," and even he wasn't present. I was single, but not lonely as it might've appeared, just more in tune with where I wanted to go and didn't need a guy throwing me off course at the time. I explained this to him without using pronouns, as I wasn't sure how he'd take me being a guy that liked other guys.
"Direct order to wrap up whatever you got going on, and prepare to go home," he said as he interrupted me. "Homework is to be done at home."
