BOYS OF ETERNITY: The First Move (Part 2)
The band trip was a success for the entire band, as we placed in the top three in the state. As for getting away with Alex at the hotel, there wasn't really a chance to have any privacy with each other, since we were always surrounded by other students at every time of the day. And much to my surprise, Alex and I DID have one more hot jack off session with each other on the bus ride home.
It began in a similar fashion to the first one. We weren't even sure if we would sit next to each other, but we somehow subconsciously planned it. Alex wouldn't allow anyone to sit next to him, and when I was very slowly passing by, he happened to scoot over in his seat to allow room for me. It was during the evening, when we rolled out on the road, and we didn't actually start doing anything sexual until it was full-on dark on the bus. Thinking back to those two times on the bus never gets old.
The next few weeks in school, after that band trip, Alex and I were friendly to each other, but we didn't talk much at all. We saw each other every day in Band, and we also had English together later in the day. When we did see the other, it was more of a silent hello or nod when we passed, and sometimes we would smile. It isn't that I didn't want to talk with him. I just didn't know what to say or how to act. I didn't know how to make the next move, or if there should be or could be a next move.
And so, I dove right back into my music studies. I had already made All-State Band the previous year, and I had made a 1+ on my solo at State Contest my Freshmen year. My Sophomore and Junior years, I was awarded a 1-Rating on my solos at State Contest. For my Senior year, I had to prepare for college, which meant I needed to know how to improvise. I needed to know how to create my own music, instead of always reading the music on the pages.
Besides Alex, music was all I heard inside my mind. I saw the scales and all the fingerings in my head, even when I was sitting in other classes or at home by myself. I could hear passages of music very clearly, and I could see all the patterns and how they resolved to the final ending of a passage or music piece.
And thankfully, last year, a teacher from another school heard me at All-State tryouts, and she recommended me to an amazing jazz educator who happened to be living in the next city over. Little did I know at that time, this teacher had traveled the world and performed with some of the biggest names in today's modern jazz. I jumped at the chance to study with this teacher, and he helped me to learn things I never knew existed in music.
If I could just get better at the sax and music in general, I could move on to bigger and better things. Meaning, I could FINALLY get out of this small and bigoted town. I could do something with my life in a big city and get paid to do what I love. Music was my ticket out of town. It would get me to college, and it would take me to stages all over the country and elsewhere. That was my dream. It HAD to happen.
Along with my goal to get better at music, I soon realized that I was also doing all this practicing simply to keep my mind busy. Being engaged in music, listening to music, studying it. It helped me to get through the days when it hurt too much to think about Alex. Some nights, after practicing for three hours, I'd lie in bed with music running through my head, while thoughts of Alex would penetrate into my being from out of nowhere.
Sometimes, when I really needed to vent, I went to school an hour early so I could practice, since I couldn't practice at home in the morning. My band director was gracious enough to open up the room for me in the mornings. I suppose he saw me as a work in progress, and he really took me under his wings. One day, when I went in early, as I approached the door to the band room, I heard the loud banging of a drum set. For a few minutes, I stood outside in the hall just listening. It was amazing! Whoever was playing sounded like a professional.
I cracked the door and peaked in. My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. Sitting behind the drums was Alex, playing like it was his last moment on Earth. I had no idea he was THAT good. He could easily be in a band. Not knowing what to do, I silently shut the door and sat down in the hall. There was no way I was going inside, just me and him alone in the room. There was so much emotion and confusion in me in that moment while I waited for class to start.
Once it started, I acted as if I had just gotten to school. I walked into the band room and sat down, not daring to look around. Class began, and everything settled in, just like all the other days.
Then one day, out of the blue and in the middle of the day, while I was talking with a friend of mine, Cassie, I noticed that Alex had walked up behind her. He was leaning against the wall with one foot propped up on the wall, and he waited patiently for me to finish my conversation and say bye to her. That was miraculous, because Cassie is loud and could go on for hours and hours.
"For reals!" Cassie was wide-eyed and very animated. "I totally thought Mr. Abrams would lose it after Jacob threw that eraser at the board then punched the desk. It smacked it so hard, but Teach was all calm and cool. I think Jacob was unnerved by him."
"Uh huh. Uh huh." I was nodding my head and staring at Alex out of the corner of my eye. I like Cassie, but honestly, all I wanted was for this conversation to end so I could talk with him.
She continued. "And then, Mr. Abrams picked up the eraser. He was totally silent. Didn't even say a word. He just COMPLETELY ignored Jacob, like he wasn't even there. And then, he continued lecturing like nothing happened. And the whole time, Jacob was pissed. He wasn't sure if he should start shouting or what, but he was looking around at everyone for support I guess."
"Uh huh. Oh, yeah. I heard about that." I wasn't even sure what Cassie had just said.
Before she could move on to her next thought, I focused my attention on Alex. "Hey, you. What's up?"
Cassie looked at me, then at Alex, then at her phone. "Oh shit, I gotta run. I forgot my book in my locker." She took off in haste toward her locker.
Alex then pulled me to the side of the hall. He was extremely nervous, and he looked down at the floor, then back up at me. I simply waited for him to speak.
"I... ummm... I'm really sorry." He look as if he was on the verge of tears.
I frowned, and my forehead creased. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything."
He shook his head up and down. "I did, and I didn't. I didn't do anything to you, but I did ignore you. I didn't mean to. It just happened, and I wanted to talk, but I couldn't bring myself to."
My heart was racing. I wanted to hug him right there, but I couldn't. Not in front of everyone at school. I realized I was holding my breath, and I audibly let it out. "You know, I could have talked to you also, but I didn't. I wanted to. There were times when all I could think of was you. And I still couldn't make myself approach you. So, I'm sorry."
He sniffled. "Then... then, ummm... if it's not too weird for you, I'd like to hang out." His head was hanging, and he was staring at the floor again.
I gently lifted his head up so that he could see my face and eyes. "No, it's not weird at all. Thank you for making the first move again." I touched his hand with my finger and quickly withdrew it. "I was trying to find a way to talk with you, and I didn't really know what I was gonna say. But just like you made the first move on the bus, you came to my rescue just now and made the first move again. So yeah. I'd LOVE to hang out with you."
It took a few seconds, but he was beaming from ear to ear. He raised his arms, almost to hug me, but slowly put them down and into his pockets. "You know... that day you came to school early and I was playing the drums, you could've come in. I thought you would, but you shut the door and didn't come in til Band started."
