The Day After

My eyes slowly opened, with the morning light pouring in and feeling like sharp needles sticking into my eyeballs. "Oh, my head."

Did anyone get the number of the truck that ran over me?

I heard a groan and felt movement next to me, "Where the fuck am I, and who the... is that?"

A small feeling of fear and dread gripped me for a moment, my heart pumping into life at full throttle. Moving quietly and trying not to disturb whoever was in the bed next to me.

Well, just in case I had to do a runner out of the room, and act all 'not me, I don't know.'

Carefully I peered over the covers, "Oh thank god, its Lucas." I could tell by the light brown hair sticking out from under the top of the bed covers.

I let out a quiet deep breath and felt a wave of relief wash over me, I'm trying to make a new start, I promised myself no more stupid stuff.

Well not as much stupid stuff maybe.

A familiar voice broke me out of my groggy state, giving me a bit of a start, "Wha'?" Tom was way too loud this morning.

"Ahh, it lives. Jamie is back with us."

Pulling myself up, leaning against the headboard with the bedsheet falling across my waist, I surveyed the room. Okay it didn't get all freaky in here I guess the place looked all neat and tidy. Well except the two-thirds spent bottle of JD and pair of shot glasses, okay, and empty ranch, honey mustard and BBQ Pringles packets, must have been doing stackers and shots.

"You had a good time last night Jamie, Looked like you and Josh hit it off, and maybe a little private party in here too, huh." Tom looked at the evidence on the bedroom bureau.

"Oh my god, what did I do?" I looked up at Tom puzzled.

Salvation was in his hands two coffee's and glasses of water with aspirin fizzing away.

"One for you, one for me buddy, big night for all off us," Tom said as he set the glasses down on the bedside table.

"Big night Jamie, I thought Lucas here was going home with one of the guy's sisters at one point, Lucas and Jess vanished not long after you and Josh did."

I didn't say a word, in fact I did my level best not to make eye contact with Tom at all. Grabbing the aspirin and coffee with both hands and holding them up. "Cheers Tommy."

Ah, salvation my saviour in the form of fizzing aspirin to deliver me from this self-induced hell I've woken too. Before I have even put my lips too the glass I can already feel-anticipate-almost the feeling of the aspirin sliding down my throat. "Over the teeth, down the tongue, Lookout stomach here it comes."

I gulp down the entire contents of the glass in one go, okay it tastes crappy but will deliver me from deaths door , aspirin, paracetamol has always had a quick effect on me. I start to feel the positive effects on me pretty much straight up even if it really hasn't gotten into my blood stream, I guess years of your parents telling you as a kid 'this will make it all better' pre conditions us all, right.

"Oh lord Tom, you are a king of men," the warmth and spice of the coffee springing me into life. It was like someone turned on all the lights and work stations in my head, ready for the staff to come in and start up.

"Um...Tom?"

"Jamie." He cocked his head toward me. Tom was searching the room for something but couldn't see it, my eyes were just able to focus on the large objects, so I wasn't going to even offer.

Taking a deep breath and feeling levels of dread rise, "Tom, what the hell happened last night, I seemed to have, um, lost some time."

A wide grin spread across Toms face, while he was downing his coffee and aspirin.

"Well?" raising his eyebrows.

"You and Josh arrived here about thirty minutes after I'd gotten back with the boat. The two of you climbed out of his truck joking around and laughing while grabbing a couple of cases of beer out of the tub. I was almost wondering if you'd got lost or something, we'd flushed the boat out and all in that time."

I could feel my face turning red, and I had the urge to move, wriggling a bit in bed shaking that nervous energy out that was slowly building in me.

"Chill Jamie, no need for red-face. You're all good, thanks to Josh anyway."

"He seems like a nice guy, you in the market for a boyfriend? If so think he could go on a short list bud." Tom had an eat shit grin plastered all over his face.

"Ha-ha, Tommy." My face plunging into my hands, a few flashes of memory had started to come back.

"Tommy, I recall joining in a conversation that someone was having, was it a few of the girlfriends or wives were arguing that boxer briefs were sexier than straight up briefs? I can't remember who it was, but someone came over the top all laughing and giving us guys all a score out of ten."

"Most of the guys wearing shorts were scoring higher."

"Then-Jane! That's right, Jane, said that briefs were way better to look at then Ryan joined in."

Tom started to laugh, "Yep Ryan, sure is a dark horse there. Wasn't sure which way he played, but that all came out last night, not that I care in the slightest." He looked at me with a stare as if I should know something.

"I remember Ryan saying no, briefs were better because you got to see more. I couldn't help myself, saying no boxer briefs or tight shorts were better because they left more to the imagination, showed off a nice butt and upper leg."

"And then Jamie..."

"I'd prove it, Oh my god its coming back."

"Yes buddy," Tom laughed. "You climbed up into the back of your truck, dropping the tailgate and saying, let's get this party started think you were in 'Footloose' or something?"

"Hmm, Kevin Bacon was so hot in that movie damn he could dance."

"Yeah, well then you started to do a strip tease to a whole crowd of gathered wives and girlfriends, well um... and Ryan joined in too, think you've won a heart their buddy."

Lucas let out a giggle from underneath the covers.

"A few calls of 'get them off,' and you had-'em all going nuts at one point, plenty of cheering."

"Oh my god, I didn't, please no." I could feel my face burning and now I was starting to feel sick. Was it the coffee and aspirin or memories of what followed.

Tom, started to laugh, while I looked around the room, "I think I need a bucket."

A voice under the covers piped up, Lucas.

"Yeah Jamie, then you started to tease them with your tee, lifting it up and down, rubbing your hand over your stomach to howls of encouragement from your new best friends. It was all pretty harmless until someone started playing 'Pony' on the boat sound system."

"Lucas that was me," Tom offered, raising his eyebrows in encouragement for Lucas to go on.

Lucas laughed, "of course it was Tommy, who else. Man, you two guys get up to serious shit when you're together. It's like your back in college, I still remember hearing he stories about Uncle Rob getting called down the local cops. Wasn't the officer in charge a friend of his?"

"Yeah, the Senior Sargent was Mr. Spence's gold buddy, right Jamie?"

"Yeah, the old man is still pissed about how many times we got locked up for."

"Mainly drunk in a public place and dancing with your pants around your ankles if I remember, Thomas, hmm, James?" Lucas as trying his best to put on straight face but failed miserably.

"Oi," Tom responded. "Lucas, you didn't waist anytime joining in when you were over in OZ. I remember someone thinking it was like all their Christmas' had come at once, because the legal drinking age is eighteen. Hmmm."

"Who was the one that got locked-up for kissing a cop?" Tom was pointing his finger straight at Lucas with a don't you dare look.

Lucas had now sat up and was grinning away like the town fool. "Okay, but to be fair I didn't know that that was the guys wife on patrol with him, it was just some fun."

We all started to laugh, that was a total blast of a night. Lucas getting locked up for kissing a guy, because Tommy and I had dared him too. And the cop's wife or girlfriend something driving past in a patrol car spotted it and lost her shit, big time, what's the odds.

"That Jamie, was all the encouragement you needed." Lucas' voice snapping me back to the here and now. "Next minute your shirt, chucks and cap were coming off and flying across Toms lawn into the crowd, they gather around your truck going nuts."

"Damn, Jamie gotta say, although you're my cousin and all. You looked pretty hot buddy, that time in the gym burning off all the frustration and shit from your ex has been well spent, got tongues wagging."

"Even flushed Ryan out," Tom chimed in with. "I was sure he played at least both sides of the card, reminded me a bit of you Jamie, just a year or three younger."

"Oh god no, please no more." I thought my face was going to literally burst into flames.

"Lucas, look at your cousin, he's gonna catch fire."

I just shook my head, I was so embarrassed. It was all coming back with a rush now. I'd gotten my shirt and stuff off, and was sliding my board shorts off, slowly to the music. Letting them fall around my ankles, kicking them of them with one leg then flicking them into the crowd with the other foot.

Lucas had returned from the bathroom deciding to join back in, "The best bit Jamie, was when Ryan pushed thru the crowd waving an Andrew Jackson at you chanting 'take it off.'

"Tom, did you see that look on the boy's face? You know the one right before..."

"Oh yeah, Lucas, the one Jamie gets, just before he goes all mischievous that was it for sure." Tom happily added.

"You two guys are having the time your lives reliving last night aren't you both? I just want to slip under the sheets and die, fuck what does Josh think of me."

"Don't stress, buddy it was pretty awesome to watch actually." Tom rubbed my forearm.

"Josh jumped up beside you and the two of you started dancing up close. Next minute the two of you were rubbing against each other, which was just setting the crowd off now, even the guys had stopped helping me pack my boat away and joined in the cheering."

"Next, you signalling for Josh to take his shit off, next minute the two of you were doing something that resembled the Cha-Cha, but up close and very, very hot, did you learn that dancing recently I don't remember you doing that when we were kids Jamie?"

"I took up Latin dancing classes last year, as a distraction from all the shit going on."

"Julie, you remember her right? Mason's now ex. She came along too, the instructor thought we were a couple."

"What the fuck, Mason and her have split? What did that fuck wad do? Jules was always so much fun when we were at high school and college. I bet her brother is gonna bust Mason in half when he catches up with him. But what the fuck Jamie?"

"Yeah Tommy, I busted Mason at it again, with some girl he picked up, I told Julie so she didn't find out like the last time. Anyways, she kicked his ass out, and then moved out herself anyway, selling the house and there all done, over apparently, she's been hurt one last time by him. I still felt so bad for Jules, she so doesn't deserve that, my brother is an ass."

The old stories and laughs from a few boozy nights years ago, plus the whole Julie-Mason mess had distracted me from the realization that, last night, it was coming back to me now, the coffee was starting to turn sour in my stomach.

"That brother of yours is a prick, anyway Jamie." Tommy spat with venom in his voice. "Back to you and Josh dancing in the back of your truck." A huge smile washed over Tom's face. "One moment you're standing next to Josh, talking into his ear, next minute you've got Josh's jeans unbuttoned and slipped your hands inside cupping his butt in your hands and pulling him in close."

"Oh my god," I shoved my face into my hands, "if this hangover doesn't kill me, the sheer glee on your face Tommy and now fuck, Lucas too as you replay the nights exploits with total delight. You love seeing how much this is killing me, don't you?" As I tried my best to deliver a serve of stink eye to them both, they were oblivious.

"Yeah Tommy-," Lucas dives in now, of course "-I liked the bit when Jamie, slipped Josh's jeans down enough to expose the dark blue briefs he was wearing, Jane went crazy, shouting 'see I told you briefs looked better,' it was funny as."

I threw my head backwards looking to the heavens for salvation or some mercy, which I know I wasn't going to get from these two bastards.

"You two, Tom-Lucas, are having the time of your lives, aren't you? Retelling my exploits from last night?"

"Jamie," Lucas jumped up out of bed now, looking like he'd just won the state lotto, and walking over, standing beside Tommy. Who by the way had been laughing so much his face was all red, with streaks of where the tears from laughing had trailed down.

"You, my young cousin, were nodding your head like you'd just spun up a jackpot on a slot machine when you slipped your hands in to Josh's jeans. The onlookers including some of my neighbours were agreeing with you."

"I didn't did I, Lucas please? fuck how much had I been drinking Christ!" And what-the fuck, young cousin bullshit! Your only fourteen days older than me fuckwad." Lucas just blew me a cherry and tapped his butt.

"Fourteen days is fourteen days buddy, you're like the youngest off all of us Jamie," shaking his head with a googled-eye look.

All I could think of was 'meh,' Lucas is right, but not ever going to admit that to him, or Tom for that matter.

"Tom?"

"Yeah Jamie."

"Please, tell me I didn't pull his cock out or mine, did I?"

Lucas and Tom looked at each other all serious like, for a moment then started to laugh.

A voice came from the doorway at that moment. "No I asked you not too, not there, you could somewhere more private if you wanted, and you smiled back at me, and what a smile Jamie."

It was Josh, he'd obviously stayed over too, and was smirking away.

"You had had a few drinks, but I think not enough food was the problem. Much to the disappointment of the crowd, you grabbed Josh's hand and both leapt off the truck and disappeared from view, didn't they Lucas."

"Yep Tommy, didn't see them for the rest of the night."

I looked up at Josh, trying to read what had happened. I couldn't really remember much of the night after that, the next thing I knew it was morning.

Well, I didn't feel like I'd had sex, you know that feeling when you know the boys been playing even if your mind is out too it, so maybe I wasn't a total idiot, or was I. Maybe I tried but the boy wouldn't play, I started to freak myself out.

"I guess the combination of a bit of booze, flights, not much food and being ridiculously tired took its toll on me."

"Lucas," Tom called out as he was heading for the bedroom door. "Come and give me a hand for a moment?" nodding towards the door with his head.

Lucas jumped down off the bedside drawers, giving me a wink before heading towards the door with Tommy, within a few seconds they'd left Josh and I in the bedroom together in silence.

Shit, did I have stuff to apologize for? Was I and idiot? my god I hope not. I looked around the room, for something, anything to distract me from the mess I'm sure I'd made with Josh, settling for covering my face with my hands and gently rocking back leaning against the headboard.

"Josh," I mumbled uncovering my face. "I just want to-" he cut me off, holding his hand's up in an all-cool type of wave, coupled with a calm almost understanding look on his face as he walked over toward the bed.

"Can I sit down Jamie?"

his face was full of compassion and understanding, I think, well it didn't look like anger, but what it is was? What if this is how he looks when his angry, cool but how would you know if you've done the wrong thing? It's like when you hurt yourself physically it hurts right, so you learn not to do that, what if-.

Oh god Jamie, get out of your own head.

"Sure," I smiled, wriggling over a bit as Josh sat beside me about halfway along my thigh. His hand came to rest just above my knee. I could feel the warmth of it, and that cologne again... what the hell was it?

'

Replica'

that's it, fuck that's nice.

"Jamie."

Josh's firm voice snapping me out of my man daze.

"Look nothing happened last night, you know after the show outside well that you or I didn't want too. I heard you say to Tom that you didn't remember much of last night, I've come to know that you tend to have long conversations in your head, stressing about what might have or did happen, don't you Jamie?"

"Yeah, kinda." Yep, face is all red again, how the hell did he know that. Oh, for fucks sake I'm doing exactly that, STOP IT JAMIE.

"Well, we came back in here. You disappeared for a moment then came back with your 'party pack,' you called it. Pringles so we could do flavour stacks, because you said you hadn't eaten since being on the plane and didn't want to get too drunk. Sorry sexy, think that bus had already left the station. And a bottle of Jack Daniels and some shot glasses."

"Um, they were in the band of my boxer briefs weren't they Josh?"

A totally heart-warming smile broke across his face.

Fuck, this guy is hot.

"Yep ah-ha, and I had to get them out with only my mouth, you insisted."

I rubbed my face with my hands, "I'm sorry Josh, I shouldn't have done that. I hope I didn't."

"It's ok Jamie, I wanted it too, it was fun."

"So, we did a few shots, then you made me a BBQ stacker you called it, wasn't bad too. And we ended up on the bed." Josh nodded towards the bed we were now sitting on.

"Josh, I really don't remember much past coming in here, I think the shots of JD wiped me out. I'm sorry to have to ask, but." I was so nervous, biting my bottom lip, and my hands started to tremble. I slipped them under the covers out of sight, but Josh noticed.

"Jamie, we didn't do anything more than make out and some grinding while rolling around on the bed. Not that we both didn't want to, you were very up for it."

"But then you told me about Sam, I could see how conflicted you were about him, and knew it wasn't right to, you know." Delivered with a look if sincerity that just melted my heart, damn Josh, damn. "I couldn't do that to you Jamie, I respect you more than that, your clearly not a slutty guy, and I didn't want us to do something that either of us would regret in the morning."

I blew a short breath out, and slightly shook my head. Wow this guy James Spence, a lucky man you are.

"We just made out in here for a while and you fell asleep on my chest, then Lucas came in and said that there were two people on the pull-out couch in the lounge and both wanted him to sleep with them, and not in a platonic way. He was asking you for advice as to which one he should sleep with or should not at all, mind you he was almost as wasted as you were. And your judgement was a little off by then I think saying 'go three up' was not the best idea to suggest to Lucas on your friend's lounge. So, jumped off the bed, and directed Lucas around to the other side of the bed, slipping his shoes off and pulling the covers over him, and I went and slept on the couch, alone too okay."

I was dumb struck, in awe of this guy. Yes, I'm still hung up on Sam, but Josh showed me that there are nice guys out there too, and he's certainly a good one. He could have just let me have my way last night and chalked it up to, you were keen for it Jamie, maybe it's time I started thinking more about the near term and not the immediate so much, I guess I am like a man child at times.

Look at Josh, he looked after me and my drunken cousin too, in fact sleeping out on a sofa with drunks and all sorts of crap going on around him no doubt.

Why Josh, why Jamie? Why do I meet nice guys when I'm not in a place to do something about it, then karma or maybe fate bites me in the butt. It's like the more random a situation is, the nicest guy appears out of the blue, and they're the best thing that has happened to me in so many ways, is this my journey through life, stumble from one fuck up to another?.