When we first got married we were full of hope and expectations for the future. Sex was great and happened so often that I thought this was never going to end. Then life came at me in a rush. Work, bills, kids, one thing after another. Time for sex becomes less and less. She's tired, I'm tired. Too many things to do on the weekend. I have a busy day tomorrow and I need to get some sleep.
An old man told me when I was first married to get a jar and during the first two years put in a matchstick. After that, every time I had sex to remove a matchstick. He laughed and said I would never get the jar emptied. He was right.
When she reached her fifties, menopause started. I know it was rough. The changes, the hot flashes, the irritability, and mood changes. How she'd lash out for what seemed like no real reason. I was the usual target, but sometimes the kids would be the recipient. Good thing for them they were grown and did not have to live in the same house.
Eventually, that came to an end. It was like the calm after a storm. But the result was her desire for sex. It was completely gone. Over and done with. I tried to talk to her, expressing my need for a physical connection. I needed some human contact still. When I suggested counseling or medical help I was shot down. She'd get upset sometimes, get mad other times, or just get quiet and leave the room.
I was crushed. Naturally, I got mad and I began to be less caring toward her. If she asked me a question my reply would be short and to the point. For a while I hoped that the situation would change, that she would 'get over' this and we'd go back to the way it was. It didn't change and only became worse. She moved into the spare bedroom and began decorating it to suit herself. I was left in the master bedroom. When she suggested that we change it I refused. I think it's because it represents the way our sex life was before it all ended. While she has moved on from the sexual relationship by decorating her bedroom.
Married life didn't get any better. She retired and got in the habit of staying up late, sometimes until 3 or 4 in the morning. Then she'd sleep until 3 or 4, sometimes until 5 in the afternoon. I have always preferred to get up early and enjoy the day. It became so that I'd only see her for four or five hours a day before I went to bed. That bothered me in the beginning, but soon I began to enjoy the time I had before she got up. It gave me some quiet time to do things I enjoyed.
I began to get on some adult sites that had chatrooms with webcams. I would go into the rooms and sometimes chat, other times I'd just watch. All that did was remind me of not getting sex at home and no chance of getting it from anywhere else.
Then one day I went into the area where the men were. Watching the guys pull out and play with their cocks got me excited. I was embarrassed with myself for getting an erection watching. After a few visits to the rooms, I started pulling out my cock also and enjoyed the feeling of guys watching me.
Becoming a regular visitor I started making friends with some of the guys and we would cam together regularly. These sessions would end up with both of us cumming on cam.
One day the wife left the house to go to the store. I jumped at the chance to get online. I had just gotten my cock out with a guy when the door to the room opened and in she came. I jumped up quickly and pulled up my pants. I x'ed out of the site as fast as I could. She couldn't see the screen so she didn't know who I was showing.
"So you're exposing yourself online now?"
"I guess I am."
"You're letting other women see you naked. Are they naked too?"
"Look I'm sorry. But it's not like you're giving me any attention. What am I supposed to do?"
