I found myself there more by accident than on purpose. Or so I tell myself anyway. The fact of the matter is that I was yearning for this new experience for quite some time. There was just something enticing about man to me even though I was (and still am) quite the ladies man. For years I was "curious". My first true step was to buy a Bi video. The sight I found, repulsive the first time though. Seeing a man penetrating another man nauseated me. I put the video away. In time enough I cam back to it and watched it all the way through. Then again, and again until I was desensitized to the new reality of man on man sex. Soon I found my distaste replaced with a dark, forbidden arousal.
Before long I was purchasing gay mags and dildos. I would ride the dildos as I masturbated to the videos and magazine images. Soon my passive curiosity started moving to the next level and began to wonder how to turn my fantasy into reality.
The online world opened up to me and soon I was chatting with would be partners and surfing sites containing information on cruising spots. Before I knew it I was cruising the local hook up spots - not so much to pick some one up or be picked up, but to see who was picking up who and how it was done. Adult bookstores proved my favorite. Indoors, better lighted and safer feeling. Loitering in the magazine section I would make eye contact with guys how would then immediately try to lead me to the back but my courage failed me each time. I grew to love the booths. The smells men left behind, sometimes the spray marks and dripping semen on the walls aroused me in a very visceral way. I quickly took to a favorite bookstore investigating in at different hours on different days wanking off to gay porn on each visit leaving my evidence for the patron behind me.
One Saturday morning I stopped in on a whim and found in much brighter and busier than usual. Several guys were standing by the entrance to the video booths as if on a scheduled rotation. The thought crossed my mind but I immediately dismissed walking straight to the back making no eye contact.