I've always had an affinity for older men, but these days it seems I'm either the older man or one of the older men involved when there's sex play. But recently I was fortunate to meet a man who at seventy-one made for the widest margin in age I'd been with in quite a while.
John and I met at a rehearsal for a school function in which my granddaughter and his great-grandson were involved. John was a widower who lived alone and my wife was out of town on a business trip that as sometimes happened spanned the weekend. My son, his wife and John's single parent grandson had to work that particular Saturday and that's how we came to meet that day. The rehearsal was about three hours long and John and I sat together talking the entire time. We talked about our families, careers, hobbies and such and found I enjoyed John's company very much and thought we could be good friends. The idea of a romantic relationship never entered my mind.
As the rehearsal was coming to a close I asked John "since we both seem to have a free evening would you like to have dinner with me?"
He said "that'd be nice" then gave me his address and we agreed on a time to meet.
We spoke a few minutes more then collected our grandchildren and parted company.
At the appointed time I picked John up at his home and we headed for the restaurant. The restaurant I chose was both upscale and old world and is owned by a close friend. It has a large dining room and along two walls are booths that are enclosed by heavy drapes that make for a cozy little nook where diners can have privacy. My friend, being the discreet fellow that he is sat us in one of these nooks.
We had delightful conversation along with our meal and the wine we shared. John talked about his wife and their long marriage saying they'd been married forty-three years when she'd passed on.
I expressed "you must have felt a great loss having been together for so long. I've been married to the same women more the thirty years and can't begin to understand the loss I'd feel if she goes before I do."
We talked more during the main course then between dinner and dessert John said "my wife's passing did bring some relief in that I no longer had to lead a double life." After saying this he looked into my eyes from over the rim as he drank from his wine glass.
I asked "what do you mean by double life?"
John hesitated a moment then said "look, I had great affection for my wife throughout our marriage, I loved her deeply. But somehow always felt I was meant to lead a different life."
Thinking about what he'd said for a moment I told him "I understand."
Looking at me very seriously he asked "do you?"
I replied "Yes, I do. Being open about ones sexuality today while no cakewalk is comparatively easier then your generation had it. You folks had a more difficult time because it was necessary to be more discreet, underground and "in the closet"."
When I used these buzz words John visibly relaxed, nodded and smiled.
Leaning forward, my arms crossed in front of me lying on the table, I said "it's easy for me to understand John because I've known I was bi-sexual since I was very young. And I don't mean bisexual like a lot of men do who toss the word out there to justify their occasional flings with another man, but mean bisexual in the truest definition of the word, not preferring one sex over the other, but both equally. Even today not many people, including my wife, knew of my sexuality."
We sat in silence for a few minutes as the waiter poured the last of the wine into our glasses. When we were once again alone John shared a small piece of his story with me.
